These past few weeks have been leading up to the start of mediation between me and my ex partner. In all honesty I have felt so much overwhelm, just at the idea of it. If I think about it and feel into my body, its a trauma response to the moment we separated and I had to do it all on my own. Having ADHD is one thing but tie that in with suddenly sorting out all your financials when you have not been in control of them for a decade is super overwhelming. For me, I know straight away when my body is going into fight or flight mode. In these moments there's really only one option. Stop. Assess. I have no time for charging on through and 'just getting on with it'. Fuck that. I'm done with the pressure of being fast, or doing so much that you can't even feel what's going on. What I now know works for me, and is proven every single time, is this 'Stop'. I check in. What's just happened? What am I feeling? Where in my body am I feeling it? Then I think, What do I need to do now? Do I have any tasks I need to complete, am I about to pick the kids up from school, do I have a client? The reason why I go through this is because my next decision is the most important. I want to react to this overwhelm with total and complete compassion for myself. Do I need 5 mins to sit down and breathe, do I need to just get the kids and go straight home and hug them on the couch while watching a movie, do I have time for a nap? What is best for all of us right now? How can I best serve myself so that I can come back stronger quicker? Generally speaking the more I practice this the quicker my recovery is because I am creating a safe space for myself to be heard and to express my feelings, and once they are cried out, written down, danced out. I can move through my energetic state to a higher vibration. So trust me, it works!
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